Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Good Man vs The Bad Boy

Last night I was thinking about relationships. Not just mine, but different relationships of people that I know and some that I don't know all that well. I read something that a friend of mine wrote about how she is attracted to the bad boys. Most of the women that I know are as well, myself included. The bad boy represents excitement and carries a certain element of danger. As women we always say that we are looking for a "good man". Often we pass him by because we are chasing behind the bad boy. He's only interested on his terms, he's often in another relationship, and great in bed. However, outside of the bedroom you really can't understand what it is you see in him. But yet we find ourselves slightly addicted to him and often find ourselves wondering how did we get into this situation. I thought for countless hours on what is it about these men that attract women. Or is it that the "good man" is doing something to make himself seem less attractive? It really can't be the flowers that he sends you, or the way he holds you as if his life depends on it, and who wouldn't love thoughtful text messages throughout the day just to let you know that you are on his mind. So what is it? My own personal opinion is the weight of knowing that man has put you on a high pedestal is a heavy load to bear. You don't want to disappoint him or let him down in any way. With the bad boy you can just be you, no false pretenses. Although the bad boy can touch, tease, feel, and caress; he can't love you as you should be loved. So what do you do? Go with someone who will make you his everything or follow the guy who is simply your nothing. Although I wrote this with women in mind, I am dying to know what men think about this.

10 Comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I'm married! LOL

ICEE said...

THIS IS A VERY VERY GOOD POST IT HIT HOME ON SO MANY LEVELS.....HOWEVER I DNT THINK THERE IS AN ANSWER TO IT.....I AM DYING TO SEE HOW MEN WAY IN ALSO...

Anonymous said...

i dont think women think much when going into these situation. i have always treated women with the utmost and i get pissed when i see that i have been played for someone who doesnt give a damn about her

Nicole, Inc. said...

stlbachelor, holla at ya girl. LOL.

Seriously, I say go with the good guy. You just have to get over that high pedestal stuff, there is something he sees in you and he obviously wants you, so just let that spoil and love you like you need to be loved. *sigh* Why do I sigh, cuz it's hard out there for a pimp, opps, a reformed pimp. Let me go, before I really get in trouble.

Anonymous said...

INC? U KNOW GOOD AND WELL YOU DON'T HAVE PIMP STATUS. LOL

JAMI B- I AM GLAD U GOT MARRIED TOO

ICEE- I AM WAITING ON THE MEN TO COMMENT AS WELL

STLBACHELOR-SORRY BABE, GETTING UR HEART BROKE HURTS BAD, HOPEFULLY GOD WILL PUT THE PERFECT WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY SHE KNOWS THAT SHE LOST A GOOD THING WHEN LOOSING YOU (I GUESS B/C I REALLY DON'T KNOW YOU, YOU COULD TELL US ANYTHING. LOL)

Anonymous said...

I think women are not using there heads when they are in this situation. I have nothing against bad boys but they make us men look bad. Half of the time they are not working or if they are the money is not that good. Why would a women settle for someone who can not treat them as they should be treated? Women should look towards the future becoming a wife and not having to worry about what there man is doing or not wanting to bring there girlfriends over because they man may try something. That's crazy get a real man someone who could provide and take the lead to build a positive future

CHA CHA said...

Im sooo glad Im married to. My hubby is a bad boy too which is not always a good thing but he knows exactly when to behave. When we at church is he bro R. When he kicking with the boys he's the homie...when he at home with me he's my Thug lova..LOL....COOL POST!

Anonymous said...

Thw sad thing in not just personal relationships but even business...assholes are more respected and get farther than non ones. I know thats not neccessarily a bad boy but a lot of times the nice guy honestly has no swag to women. For whatever reason they don't believe they do. Sometimes the nice guy comes off to eager I think. I don't know but assholes have always won in life for whatever reason

Mz. Meghan OMG said...

not only is it that way for us women, its the same for men as well. the "good" men that ARE out there also get caught up with women that should have a huge HANDLE WITH CARE sign on their forehead! but where im going with this is that, as long as one is patient and true to themselves and understanding what you stand for and your values...you won't even allow yourself to fall victim to the traps that can be out there...

Eb the Celeb said...

I think there are stages to the madness... early in life we want that bad guy because it breads excitement, maybe rebellion from mom, and quite frankly we dont really know what we want in a man at that point in our life so we go with what makes us feel the best on the outside. With maturity we learn what we want in a man, and sometimes we get confused and feel like we can turn that bad boy into a good man... then we really become a woman and realize we deserve more and that's when we finally truly make ourselves ready for that good guy to find us.